


A World Without the Sun

by inoreuct



Series: Haikyuu!! Timeskip FanFictions [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Disorder, Bokuaka - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25755400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inoreuct/pseuds/inoreuct
Summary: Bokuto goes into a coma, and Akaashi realises he’s been taking him for granted🥺 As to whether or not there’s a happy ending...... I guess you’ll just have to read on and see 😈
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi - Relationship, minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio - Relationship
Series: Haikyuu!! Timeskip FanFictions [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861960
Comments: 19
Kudos: 52





	1. When You Try So Hard but You Don’t Succeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Black Jackals lose a match, and Bokuto blames himself😫. Song to listen to while reading: Don’t Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers :)

Bokuto Koutarou sighed in disappointment. His team, the MSBY Black Jackals, had just lost a match they had been preparing for for  _months_.  _ Damn it...... I should have jumped higher, or spiked faster, or aimed better, or......something! How could I let everyone down?! We were supposed to win this. We should have won this. If only I pushed a little harder-  _

“Bokuto-san? Are you okay?” his teammate Hinata Shouyou asked concernedly. He was way more observant than he seemed, always picking up on the smallest details. He had obviously noticed Bokuto beating himself up about not winning the game. 

“Yeah, Hinata, I’m fine. Just...... I’m sorry. I know you guys really wanted to win this, and... I let you down. I’m sorry.” Bokuto looked down at the floor. 

“Hey, don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. We all could have played better today,” Miya Atsumu said over Hinata’s screeches of indignation and obvious disagreement. He smiled supportively, resting a comforting hand on Bokuto’s shoulder.  Even Sakusa Kiyoomi pitched in to try and cheer Bokuto up. 

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s over now,” he said quietly, lacing his fingers through Atsumu’s. Bokuto just put on a fake smile, trying not to let his disappointment and negativity seep through and affect his teammates.

As soon as they exited the building, Bokuto and Hinata’s boyfriends ran towards them. “Tobiooooooo!” Hinata jumped into the arms of his raven-haired boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Did you see me? I was like ‘WHOOSH!’ and then I jumped and the ball hit the ground like ‘BAM!’. Did you see?!” 

Kageyama Tobio laughed, holding Hinata up by his thighs.  “Yes, yes, I saw you. I’m so proud of you, boke.” He kissed Hinata on the nose and watched as he blushed bright red. Even after dating for more than three years, Hinata was still as shy as ever when it came to Kageyama.

Akaashi Keiji ran towards Bokuto, crashing into him at full speed and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s torso. “You were amazing, Koutarou,” he whispered, pulling back and kissing Bokuto gently on the lips. 

_ But still not enough......  _ Bokuto’s facade faltered for a moment, before he hitched his smile back up. “Hey hey hey!!! You know what, even if we didn’t win, I wanna celebrate. You free for a date, Keiji?” he asked, trying not to let Akaashi see through his mask. 

His boyfriend sighed heavily, resting his forehead against Bokuto’s.  “I can’t, Kou. I’m sorry, but I need to finish up an online project for school. I’m pretty much done, but I still wanna finalise some things, and it’s due today at nine. I only have three hours. Maybe tomorrow night?” Akaashi frowned, looking up at Bokuto with his long-lashed, gunmetal blue eyes. 

“Oh... Okay then! I’ll drop you home. Do you need help with your project?” Bokuto couldn’t help the crestfallen tone of his voice.

“No, it’s fine. You’ve been practicing really hard, you should go home and rest. Besides...... You’re gonna need the energy after our date tomorrow,” Akaashi winked suggestively, giggling softly as he watched a blush unfurl over Bokuto’s cheekbones and ears.

After they said their goodbyes to the team and everyone else, Bokuto drove Akaashi to his house. “Bye Kou! I’ll text you later, okay? I love you!” Akaashi yelled from his front door, turning around and waving at his boyfriend cheerfully. 

“I love you too! Good luck with your project, text me if you need any help!” Bokuto yelled out the car window, waving back and starting on the ten-minute drive to his own apartment. He parked his car and took the lift up to his third-floor flat, chucking his equipment on the floor and going to his balcony. He sighed, bracing his forearms on the shoulder-height metal railing and looking at the slowly-darkening sky.  _ Damn it...... They really wanted to win this one, didn’t they? And I let them down. I’m so damn useless......  _ Bokuto could feel himself slipping into emo mode, but he couldn’t stop himself. He just felt so damn  _ guilty _ that they had lost. As he looked over the balcony, a thought crossed his mind.  _ I wonder what would happen if I jumped...... _

_ Come to think of it, probably no one would miss me. I haven’t done anything for the Black Jackals, and Keiji...... He deserves better than me, doesn’t he? I’m always busy with training and competitions. I can’t make the time for him that he deserves. No one would miss me...... _ He hesitated, gripping the railing in his clenched fists. He pushed himself up with his arms and swung one leg over the railing.  _ It’s your fault the team lost...... You let them down, Koutarou.  _ He swung the other leg over, sitting on the railing, his shoes braced against the metal bars.  _ Your fault. _He took a deep breath.  _Your fault._ He leaned forward.  _ Wait...... No! Stop, Koutarou. You idiot! Of course they’d miss you. Akaashi loves you, and your teammates care for you. Don’t be stupid. Just because you lost doesn’t mean it’s your fault. And even if it was, then you’d need to make things right, not try and kill yourself, dumbass. _

Bokuto shook his head, swinging one leg back over the railing. But in his haste to get back inside the balcony, he forgot about keeping his grip. Before he knew it, his hand had slipped off. He was tipping backwards and falling, falling,  _ falling _ headfirst towards the concrete pavement, the trees and buildings whizzing around him, his arms windmilling and legs kicking wildly in a desperate attempt to slow his fall...... But there was nothing he could do.

_Pain_.  Feet running past him, lying paralysed in a puddle of his own blood, being lifted up.  _Pain._ Flashing lights, whispering voices and the loud wailing of an ambulance siren.  _Pain_......  Those were the last things Bokuto noticed before the world faded into black, the darkness welcoming him and wrapping him in its arms like an old friend.

Back at his house, Akaashi couldn’t shake the feeling in his gut that something was  seriously wrong.  _ Kou seemed...off, just now. There was something different in his eyes, something I couldn’t place...... It’s the look he always had before he went into emo mode. But he seemed fine... I’m probably just overthinking. He was fine. ......Right? _


	2. If Only I’d Said Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi gets the details about Bokuto and breaks down🥺 Song to listen to while reading: Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan :)

Akaashi Keiji yawned, shutting his laptop and stretching his arms above his head. It was eight fifty, and he had just handed in his online project.  _ I’m never procrastinating again.  _ Standing up with wobbly legs, Akaashi stumbled to his couch, grabbing the remote and turning the television on. He surfed through the channels aimlessly, waiting for the news to come on at nine. After ten minutes of waiting, he switched to the news channel, leaning back against the pillows and curling his legs up beneath him on the couch. He expected to see news about politics, or maybe stocks. He did  _not_ expect the words that came out of the newscaster’s mouth. “Breaking news: Earlier today, a man had been found on the ground in a puddle of his own blood. It is suspected that he fell from his third floor balcony. No one was in his apartment with him, which suggests that this was an accident or a suicide attempt. The incident reportedly happened at 34 Momiji Road, at around six thirty in the evening. We don’t have all the details, but the man has been identified as nineteen-year-old Bokuto Koutarou, and is currently receiving medical treatment at the Miyagi General Hospital. The police are investigating the scene as I speak, and we’ll be back with more details as soon as possible.”

Akaashi froze, unable to process what he had just heard.  _ Bokuto... Blood... Fall... Hospital. Oh god. No. Please, no. Please let him be okay.  _ Dread was seeping through his body, cloyingly thick and suffocating. It crawled up his throat and wrapped itself around his lungs, making it hard to breathe.  _ I knew it. I knew something was wrong, I knew he was blaming himself. Why the hell did I ignore it? ......No. You can blame yourself later, Keiji. Get to Bokuto. Miyagi General Hospital... That’s fifteen minutes away. I can run there.  _ Akaashi changed out of his pyjamas as fast as he could, shrugging on a jacket over his T-shirt and lacing up his sneakers. He grabbed his phone and slammed the front door open, sprinting into the street, praying desperately that his Kou was okay.

~timeskip~

Akaashi shoved his shoulder into the hospital’s front door, ignoring the ache that blossomed. He skidded up to the reception counter, panting heavily. “I’m...I’m here to see Bokuto Koutarou.” 

The receptionist keyed in some information in her computer, humming thoughtfully.  “He just got out of surgery, so only legal relatives are allowed to see him. Who are you to him?”

“I’m his boyfriend. Akaashi, Akaashi Keiji. Please, could you make an exception? Just this once,” he gasped, holding the stitch in his side.

The receptionist studied him pityingly, looking at his flushed cheeks and panicked expression. 

Seemingly persuaded, she passed him a form and a pen.  “Fill this out, and then you can go and see him. He’s on Level 4, ward 19-B.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. Akaashi scribbled down his details, barely aware of what he was writing. Sliding the form and pen back across the countertop, he hurried to the lift lobby, jamming his finger on the button for Level 4 repeatedly.

Once the lift arrived, he walked quickly down the white hallway, watching the ward numbers flash by.  _ 17-A, 17-B, 18-A, 18-B, 19-A......19-B!  _ He slowed down, walking hesitantly towards the metal door. He held his breath, his hand hovering over the doorknob.  _ I’m......scared. I don’t want to see him hurt. But I guess it’s unavoidable, isn’t it?  _ Akaashi swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He slowly turned the handle, pushing the door open. There were four beds in the ward, but all of them were empty except one. Bokuto was lying on the bed next to the window, his usually tanned skin drained of colour. There were no other visitors in the ward. Bokuto’s parents were out of town, and Akaashi had called then on his way to the hospital, but they would only be able to make it back the next day. Akaashi walked to Bokuto’s bedside in a daze, dragging out a chair and sitting down beside his unconscious boyfriend. He clasped Bokuto’s cold, still hand in his own, unable to accept or believe what he saw. 

Bokuto’s normally spiky duo-coloured hair had been smoothed down, a bandage wrapped snug around his head. There was an IV and a bag of blood connected to his arm by tubes, and his chest barely rose and fell. Looking at Bokuto’s prone form, Akaashi felt his heart squeeze, a tear escaping from the inner corner of his eye. Just when he was about to break down, a middle-aged doctor with her grey-streaked hair in a bun walked in. “Oh, hello. You must be Akaashi,” she said, offering a comforting smile. “I’m Doctor Manami Asui, but you can call me Doc. So, it says here you’re Bokuto’s boyfriend?” she asked, consulting the clipboard in her hand.

“Y-Yeah. Is he gonna be okay?” Akaashi asked weakly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

The doctor pulled up a chair and sat down next to him, sighing softly.  “Akaashi...... How do I put this... When Bokuto fell, he fell head-first. He cracked his skull when he landed, and......he sustained serious brain damage and lost a lot of blood. He’s lucky to be alive. If the ambulance hadn’t gotten there when it did...... He’s in a coma now.” She braced her forearms on her thighs. “It’ll be a miracle if he wakes up, and even if he does... He’s likely to have at least  _ some  _ form of memory loss. Apart from his other injuries, he injured his cerebellum and prefrontal cortex, two of the main parts of the brain responsible for storing memories. He might not remember you if he wakes up. He might not even wake up at all.”

Hearing her words, Akaashi felt numb. He was still processing everything he had found out in the past thirty minutes. The doctor sighed. “I’m not going to say that I’m sorry because there’s still hope. Just......prepare yourself, alright?” She stood up, placing her hand on his shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze. “I’ll give you two some space.” Akaashi nodded blankly, still staring at Bokuto’s pale face. As the doctor walked out, the information finally started to sink in. Akaashi could feel his heart break. Bending over Bokuto, a strangled cry escaped his lips.

_This is my fault. This is all my fault. I knew there was something off, I should have agreed to that date, if I were there I could have stopped him. I should have been there. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!_ Akaashi was sobbing so hard he couldn’t breathe. He could barely see through the haze of tears clouding his eyes. He hardly ever cried, but when he did...... He would completely break down, even if Bokuto was there to hold him together. Now he was crying because Bokuto _wasn’t_ there, and he felt like his heart was shattering into jagged, fragile pieces, with no one there to pick them up and fix it.

“Why......why? WHY DIDN’T I SAY YES?!” he screamed in pain, sobbing into Bokuto’s lap. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he vaguely registered that he shouldn’t be screaming in a hospital at nine forty-five in the evening, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  _ Our last date was two months ago. Two. Months. What if that was our last date, ever?! Every single  fucking time he asked, I said I was busy with school. Why didn’t I say yes?  _ He was gasping for air, trembling violently as his lungs struggled to expand. 

He realised that Bokuto was his sun. He was always there, glowing brightly and chasing away Akaashi’s darkness, so much so that Akaashi had begun to take him for granted. But if the sun disappeared...... A world without the sun wouldn’t be possible to live in. Even if it was, it wouldn’t be worth it. It would only be dark, and sad, and bleak, the exact opposite all the things that Akaashi felt with Bokuto by his side. He could already feel that darkness creeping in without his sun to chase it away. “Kou...... I’m so sorry. Please wake up, Koutarou. _Please_. I can’t live without you,  _ please_! ......I-I’m so sorry.”

Akaashi sobbed himself to sleep with his head in Bokuto’s lap, his skull pounding, eyes swollen and red from his tears.  _ Please wake up, Kou. Please. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if this chapter made you cry! 😌🤚🏽


	3. Darkness and Familiar Voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto wakes up😆 Just fluff, really :D Song to listen to while reading: Lose Somebody by Kygo :)

Darkness. That was all Bokuto could see as he heard a voice. “Come back, Kou. Come back to me.” He felt like he was floating weightless in a void, unmoving, unburdened. He slipped back under the haze of darkness, fading back into his own mind.

The next day, the darkness receded as that voice spoke yet again. “Kou, it’s been two days since I’ve seen your smile. Please come back to me,” it said shakily.

_ Huh. Wonder who that is.  _ But this time, before the darkness swallowed him again, he...remembered something.  _ My name... My name is Bokuto. Bokuto Koutarou. _

Yet again, the darkness drew back the next day as that same voice rang out. “Kou... I love you. Please wake up. Please. I’m begging you,” it said, a sob barely discernible at the end. The darkness had drawn back even more this time. 

_ I’m... I play volleyball. I’m a outside hitter for the...MSBY Black Jackals......? And my hair is...black and white. And spiky. _

The darkness faded again the next time that now-familiar voice surrounded him again. “Koutarou, I love you. I love you so much. Please wake up,” it said, the person whom it belonged to obviously crying. 

_ Why are they crying?  _ This time, he remembered even more.  _ I’m here because... I fell from my third floor balcony.  _ He let the darkness drag him under.

The next day was even stranger. The voice filled his ears yet again. “Bokuto Koutarou. Wake up. Wake up _now_. Please. Come back to me. I can’t live without you......” 

_ Why does that voice sound so damn familiar? I know that person, don’t I? But who the heck is it?  _ The darkness wrapped him in its arms again.

“Kou. Please, just wake up already, damn it! I can’t live without you!” the familiar voice sobbed desperately. That day, Bokuto remembered something else. 

_ That voice... It belongs to a boy. Akaa... Akaa-something. Akaashi. Akaashi Keiji. He has messy black hair and gunmetal blue eyes.....? But who’s Akaashi Keiji?  _ He let himself get swallowed by the darkness yet again.

The next day yielded even more memories. “Kou...... Please. Please wake up. I was taking you for granted, you need to wake up so that I can make things right. Please. I haven’t heard your voice or your laugh, or seen your beautiful grin, or felt your arms around me for a fucking  _ week_. I can’t...... I can’t live without you anymore, Kou. I love you so much. You’re my everything, you’re my sun. And now that you’re gone, I don’t have anything left except darkness. What’s the point in living?” the voice that he now knew belonged to Akaashi Keiji sobbed. 

_ Akaashi... No. Not Akaashi. Keiji. He’s Keiji. My Keiji. He’s...my boyfriend. I love him. I love Akaashi Keiji, so much. But...wait......did he just say he was gonna kill himself?! _

For the first time, Bokuto fought against the darkness clouding his mind.  _ I can’t let that happen. Not to him.  _ He struggled as the darkness tried to pull him under, wrapping itself around him, suffocating him. What used to be comforting was now a monster trying to drag him away from everything he loved. Bokuto struggled to break free, straining towards the sound of Akaashi’s angelic voice, his light, his strength, his everything. _ Keiji...... I’m coming back, baby. Hold on.  _ Bokuto ripped at the darkness, tearing it away piece by piece. As more and more of Akaashi’s light shone through, it slowly disintegrated into dust, finally freeing Bokuto from its oppressive grip.

Bokuto Koutarou opened his eyes for the first time in a week to the sight of his beautiful boyfriend in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, sobbing into his lap and squeezing his left hand to his heaving chest. Raising his right hand, he gently carded it through Akaashi’s disheveled black locks. “Hey baby,” he whispered gently, tilting Akaashi’s chin up. He looked......exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in ages. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his entire face was blotchy.

“Kou......? Is this a dream?” Akaashi whispered back, his bottom lip trembling. 

Bokuto shook his head slowly, brushing his thumb tenderly across his boyfriend’s cheekbone.  “No, Keiji. I’m awake. I’m back. I love you so much.” 

Akaashi burst into a fresh round of tears, babbling nearly incoherent apologies between his sobs.  “I’m s-sorry, I shouldn’t h-have taken you for g-granted, I sh-should have been there, then you wouldn’t have tried to jump, I could have stopped you. You’re so much more i-important than school, I’m sorry I-“

“Hush, baby. I’m okay now. That’s all that matters,” he smiled, shuffling to one side of the bed and pulling back the covers. “Everything’s gonna be okay. Come here.” 

“A-Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you-“

“Keiji. You won’t hurt me,” Bokuto said matter-of-factly. Finally giving in, Akaashi lay down on the bed and nestled up to Bokuto, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pushing his face into the soft, tanned skin of his neck. Bokuto buried his nose into Akaashi’s black waves, breathing in a lungful of his comforting scent of lotus and pine. “So... What’d I miss this past week?” Akaashi looked up at him, his brows furrowing together.

“How’d you know you’ve been out for a week?”

“I heard you.” Bokuto grinned softly.

“You heard me,” Akaashi repeated. “Every day?”

“Yup.” 

Hearing this, Akaashi nodded determinedly, a hard, blazing look in his eyes.  “Good. Because I meant every word I said.”

“You’re my sun, Bokuto. A world without the sun is nothing. Without you,  _ I _ am nothing. So you better believe that as soon as the doctors say you can, we’re going on a date, and you are fucking me into oblivion after. I better not be able to walk the next day.” He pressed a sweet kiss to Bokuto’s neck, wrapping his arms tighter around his boyfriend’s torso and tangling their legs together. Looking at Akaashi snuggled up against him, Bokuto felt so in love he could positively melt. 

_ How could I ever possibly forget about my Keiji?  _ He shifted, adjusting Akaashi so he was lying on top of his chest. “Oh trust me, you won’t be able to walk for a _week_ when I’m done with you. So...... What’d I miss again?” he asked, rubbing Akaashi’s pale, milky arms sweetly. 

Akaashi sighed, basking in Bokuto’s smell of charcoal and cream.  “Not much. I’ve been sleeping here. Your parents and your team came to visit a couple of times. Do you... Do you remember them?” Akaashi looked up at Bokuto anxiously.

 _Otousan... Okaasan... And Hinata, and Atsumu, and Sakusa......_ “Yeah, I think I do.” He grinned in relief, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Akaashi’s head and running his warm palm flat along his lean back. 

Akaashi shivered in pleasure, relishing the feeling of being back in Bokuto’s arms again.  “I should probably go get Doctor Manami. She’s the one who’s been looking after you. And I should probably call your parents and your team too.”

Bokuto sighed through his nose, his warm breath ruffling Akaashi’s hair.  “I think they can afford to wait for a little while longer. Right now, the only person I wanna see is you. My beautiful Keiji. I love you so much, do you know that? You’re my strength, my reason...my everything.” Akaashi blushed a soft pink, pressing his face to Bokuto’s chest, feeling his steady, reassuring heartbeat beneath his cheek.

“I know. I love you too, Kou.”

Akaashi and Bokuto fell asleep in a matter of minutes, Akaashi with his mind and heart finally at ease, and Bokuto with his memories back and the boy he loved finally back in his arms. It was a little chilly, but they didn’t feel cold, not when their love burned with the heat of a thousand suns.

~timeskip~

“This is...unheard of. I don’t know how this is possible, I’ve never seen anything like it. People who sustain injuries like yours usually don’t even wake up, and to have no memory loss at all...... It really is a miracle,” Doctor Manami said in disbelief, a tiny smile on her lips. She sat next to Bokuto’s bed, in front of the small circle of close friends and family surrounding it. Akaashi was passed out on Bokuto’s chest, catching up on the sleep he desperately needed after keeping himself awake for a week with all his constant worrying. 

Bokuto smiled gently, looking down at his angel who was sound asleep. He smoothed his hand over his boyfriend’s black hair, brushing it away from his face. “I just knew I had to get back to Akaashi.” 

Kageyama chuckled softly, tugging Hinata closer to himself and planting a loving kiss on his forehead.  “Love  _ is  _ a pretty darn powerful thing, isn’t it?” he said, wrapping his arms around his orange-haired boyfriend who was smiling goofily up at him. 

Atsumu laughed, turning his head and kissing Sakusa’s cheek.  “I think that’s one thing we can all definitely agree on.” 

Bokuto’s parents were still crying too hard to say anything, but they nodded in agreement. Lying there, surrounded by his friends and family, Bokuto couldn’t help but feel content. He had great parents, an even better team, and Akaashi, the love of his life. _ What more could a guy possibly want? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Any ship requests? Because I am running out of ideas. COMMENT PEOPLE COMMENT😆


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